The Importance of Having Regrets

It’s the stuff of life

Have you ever heard someone say they have no regrets? Or maybe you are one of those people who has convinced themselves they have no regrets. I’ve seen bumper stickers and signs that say things like “Live With No Regrets,” or just simply “No Regrets.”

Hogwash.

Show me a person who says they have no regrets and I will show you a person that is either lying or engaging in a deep kind of self-deception. It’s become almost vogue to say you have no regrets, a point of pride if not outright arrogance. To say you have no regrets is tantamount to saying you have made no mistakes, and that you can’t envision having taken a better path. Can anyone truly say they have never taken a wrong turn, or done something they wish they hadn’t? Can anyone truly say they have never failed to do something they wish they had?

I dare say no one goes through life without taking a wrong turn, doing something they wish they hadn’t or failing to do something they wish they had. This isn’t necessarily a horrible thing. It isn’t a personal flaw. It’s a part of being human. They are simply another part of our lives, like feeling proud, happy, or sad. Having regrets simply means you have considered other paths you didn’t take, and in weighing it out, you realize you made a mistake. Having regrets is a way of examining your life, and as the Greek philosopher Socrates once put it, “the unexamined life is not worth living.”

Regrets bring balance to the other decisions we made that brought joy, pride, or contentment. If we didn’t have regrets, would we really fully know what a good decision felt like? It’s not unlike having to know what sadness is in order to fully appreciate what happiness is. There is a yin and yang relationship here. I am going to let you in on a secret.

It’s OK to make a mistake.

Obviously, all regrets are not created equal. Some weigh heavier on a person’s mind and psyche than others. The regret a woman might feel after an abortion can’t be compared to the regret another person might have over the choice of clothing worn to a…

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